A Man Can Be Cured Of Every Folly But Vanity.

Some people do creative things while in Maine. Take Josh Ritter, for example. Great musician; he wrote a wonderful album while spending some time in a remote area of the state. Another example might be Andrew Wyeth, a great painter who spent his summers there and created such masterpieces as Christina's World.

I was in Maine today, and due to a rescheduled meeting, I spent quite some time aimlessly driving around in the surprisingly cool summer morning fog. It dawned on me that while some people come to Maine to truly be creative (see above), there are many more who live there and only think they're being creative. I say this because of the exponential number of vanity plates that I observed today.

It must be a Maine thing. Seriously, I have never seen so many vanity plates, and I have done a shitload of driving. Been to Maine a few times and I've noticed it before, but this time I kept a notepad with me. So - here are some, uh... northern creations:

PLASTCS - must be a fan of the Graduate
LUVMNMS - didn't get a look at the driver, but if you love M&Ms enough to mention it on your license plate, then... damn.
DMX 420 - I really hoped this was going to be some pot-smokin' rap-lovin' dude, but it turned out to be an older couple. Must've been a coincidence.
2FAST4U - on a minivan. No kidding.
MOMSCAR - Sure, whatever. Mom doesn't drive a fucking Hummer.
DKDKGOOS - Gotta be a kindergarten teacher. Or a hunter.
HIHOAG - This took me a while. I knew that it had to be a vanity plate, but I couldn't figure it out. As coincidence would have it, later on in the day I found myself looking at a periodic table. AG = Silver. What a nerd.
And, of course:
LOBSTAH - the driver must've killed someone to get this plate.

Now, I wasn't actually behind the wheel in Maine for that long. About two, maybe two and a half hours tops - and I was up there at the crack of dawn so there weren't that many people on the road for a good hour. Additionally, these are about one-third of the plates I noticed. Craziness. Guess there's something in the water (something in the lobster?) up there.

I'd love to find some statistics on vanity plates, like which states have more per capita, or what some of the funniest plates are. Never gave much thought to it - I don't know what I'd put on mine (something to do with bass, maybe?) - what is it that makes people want to have a vanity plate (other than vanity itself)? It's kinda like a tattoo for your car - more permanent than a bumper sticker, and there's definitely some thought that goes into creating a statement about you that can be expressed in seven or eight letters/numbers.