R-E-S-P-E-C-T my Seniority!

Aretha Franklin pulled a hissy fit today when she heard something that Beyonce said. Beyonce introduced Tina Turner at the recent Grammy awards (which, by the way, I was unable to watch live because Comcast likes giving its customers the shaft) by saying: "Ladies and gentlemen, stand on your feet... and give it up for the queen!" Aretha didn't like that so much.

Okay, everyone knows that Aretha is the Queen of Soul. Just like James was the Godfather of Soul. And Elvis was the King and Springsteen is the Boss and Michael Bolton is the Ass Clown. But Aretha needs to chill out a little. Maybe Beyonce really reveres Tina as her idol (that seems to have worked out well for Beyonce). Maybe Beyonce wanted to give a killer performance (which she did) and have one of the most influential people in the history of music up there on stage with her. Someone who could keep up with her. I ask you - could Aretha have danced and sang the way Tina did? Something tells me that she couldn't. At 65, Aretha is on the verge of exploding in her own shoes, whereas at 69, Tina looks and dances like she's Beyonce's older sister. Well, maybe not that young. But still - she's pushing 70, and damned if she doesn't have the moves.

Or maybe, just maybe, the writers chose to call Tina a queen because 1) she deserves it and 2) she has been referred to as the "Queen of Rock & Roll." They didn't call her the Queen of Soul. They chose to call her a queen. And she's amazing in her own right.

Now don't get me wrong - I love me some Aretha. She might justifiably hold that "Queen of Soul" title. She's done plenty with her life and yes, I have plenty of, uh... respect for her. She had 18 number one R&B hits. She was the first black woman to be on the cover of Time. She has received honorary doctorates from several universities, awards from two US presidents, and is the youngest person to ever receive a Kennedy Center Honor. She's even in my favorite movie. But she's definitely had her moments. Jason and I saw Aretha Franklin perform at one of those "Divas Live" concerts in NYC's Radio City Music Hall several years ago. First of all, she forgot the names of the six guys in the jazz group she performed with on that stage... guys like Herbie Hancock, Russell Malone, and Roy Haynes. She also left Stevie Wonder hanging by himself (not that the man couldn't hold his own; his unannounced performance was by far the greatest moment of that night). And at one point after Nelly Furtado sang her tribute and left the stage, both Jason and I wondered if Aretha had eaten Ms. Furtado backstage. Aretha has definitely become large, as the Onion astutely pointed out in this teaser - no article was even necessary. It might also be worth mentioning that her god-daughter (some chick named Whitney Houston) called Bobby Brown the "King of R&B." We all know that 'sanity' and 'Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown' are seldom seen in the same sentence.

Aretha - you're still the Queen of Soul. Tina can be a queen too, perhaps even the Queen of Rock & Roll. Don't think for one second, however, that you're the Queen of All That Is Music. Show some generosity toward your contemporary; you're both royalty. Now if only we could find someone to take that "Prince" title...