I am an ass.

So a few weeks ago, I was walking around outside during lunch, and an elderly gentleman got out of his car and said "Pardon me...". So of course, I asked if there was anything I could do, and he asked me if there was a KFC nearby. It just so happens that there is a KFC right as you exit the highway, and it's only about 1/2 a mile from where we were. So I gave him the directions; he thanked me and then told me that it was his 80th birthday, that he was a war veteran and was on his way to celebrate.

I thought it was awesome that he wanted to celebrate at the KFC (nothing says 'purple heart' like $0.99 buffalo snackers?). And so I proceeded with my day.

That was a few weeks ago. This morning, as I was walking from the far parking lot to work, I noticed that there was a huge number of cars in the main parking lot, and I asked another passerby what was going on. She told me that there was a town meeting in the Knights of Columbus hall and some official was being honored. I didn't give it too much thought. Then, at about ten-fifteen this morning, I had a sudden epiphany:

Knights of Columbus. KFC. K of C.

Oops.

I sincerely hope that the old guy was really looking for some fried chicken, but somehow I doubt it. I have two images in my head. One is of a crowded Knights of Columbus hall filled with expectant veterans, waiting to honor this dude who fought in a couple of wars. The other is of a thoroughly confused 80-year-old guy at the counter of a Kentucky Fried Chicken trying to ask the equally confused teenage Hispanic cashier about a K of C.

To the old man - wherever you are, I hope that you got the party that you deserved, and that you showed up with a huge bucket of chicken and a story about some shmuck who thought you were hungry.