Ouch.

Wow.

Watch this.

This is one of the reasons why I sometimes miss living in Japan. Basically, their TV consists of four types of shows*: News, Cooking shows (think Iron Chef... but they're serious), "dramas" which are basically one-season stories (the same actors will come back the next year and do a drama with completely different characters and storylines; long-running sitcoms like Simpsons or Friends basically don't exist) and - everyone's favorite - game shows. As you might be able to tell, Japanese game shows are a little different than ours... people get hurt. Anyone ever see MXC? That's Most eXtreme Challenge; check out SpikeTV if you have the chance (and look for James Harvey - my cousin - in the credits; he does the graphic design). There was a game show in Japan in the 90s called Takeshi's Castle... MXC takes those episodes and overdubs them with hysterical, innuendo-laced, ridiculous English. People face physical challenges (not like Double Dare) where they actually will get hurt. In one episode, the contestants had to run full speed at one of four doors. Two doors were made of paper; two were made of wood and were bolted shut. Those who made it through the first set of doors had another four doors to choose from... and then another. It was awesome. Another game show - Challenger on Fire - relied on teamwork. Each team had six members. Five members would have to do some menial task, like assembling mops or taking the lids off of jars, in a certain amount of time. The sixth member would sit in a booth. If the team was unable to accomplish the task in the allotted time, something would fall on the head of the person in the booth. I recall episodes in which the following objects were dropped: cottage cheese. a cat... a real cat. squid (alive and dead). and my favorite, a bowling ball. Granted, they dropped it from an inch or two above her head, but a fucking bowling ball.

So yeah, Japanese game shows rule. None of the gross-out of fear factor, none of the idiocy of wheel of fortune, none of the faux drama of reality shows. Say it right, or get hit in the nuts. That's a sure-fire recipe for success. Just ask Robot Chicken (you gotta wait till the end).

*anime is another animal completely. it's everywhere and it freaks the hell out of me. i saw one once with a character called rape-man. it had tentacles. yuck.